Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Shopping at Wal-Mart Without Losing Your Soul

Shopping at Wal-Mart may be a necessary evil, but in order to tip the great moral balance of the universe to the other direction, I also shop at Sunflower Market, frequent the seasonal farmer's markets, and grow what I can in my own garden.

Here are a few reasons why shopping at Wal-Mart is A-okay:
  • Sadly, my neighborhood Wal-Mart is plagued with criminal activity. I have a 50% chance of seeing a police car parked out front when I go to Wal-Mart. Going there ensures that there will be one more law-abiding shopper in the mix.
  • This was taken in the Wal-Mart parking lot. I have pondered about this picture more than I care to admit. What does it mean? Does the car owner love cowboy playboys, but loves Jesus more? Does Jesus love the playboy sinners? Does it represent moral dilemma of the owner? Going to Wal-Mart inspires me to ponder such things.
  • Speaking of, WWJS (Where Would Jesus Shop)? Whole Foods? I think not.
  • Amazingly, the employees are remarkably kind and helpful, even after dealing with hours of rude people and shoplifters. This gives me profound hope.
  • The greeter smiles at me every time I come in, and he means it.
  • I save money shopping there. Generally, I avoid the meat department (I'm a meat department snob), but snap up the $2 milk, cheap cereal, health and beauty products and other stuff. I'd like to think that my family can eat like I spend a lot of money when I really don't.
So yes, Wal-Mart can be a maddening exercise in frustration, but if you have your patience pants on, you'll do just fine. There will be times where you'll want to kill the:

-weight watchers lady who dumped every last box of the clearance fiber bars into her cart (I'm watching you!)
-mother who thinks that it's okay to shop with her kids at 2 a.m.
-couple who is alternatively fighting and making out
-gal who thinks it's okay to vomit in the drinking fountain (hat tip, Mrs. Bear Cub)

but you won't. You'll instead think of your pioneer forbearers and how they'd faint at the sight of such ease and convenience. It'll make your day. Always.


Carrie said...

I need to get my patient pants on this are so slow getting ready....
That car in the walmart parking lot makes me laugh and then shake my head. You should have waited for the owner to get his take on it! :)

amanda said...

hilarious! you didn't say anything about ssa... is that not a problem for you at walmart?

I love the window decals.I have a different take. Maybe she's a lesbian and she's showing everyone that Jesus loves her too.

Have you seriously seen someone puke in the drinking fountain?! eeeeew.

the best time for walmart is in the middle of the night. that's when the real crazies come out.

cathy said...

Oh, I forgot about the SSA. I wonder how many people suffer with shopping-triggered "digestive disorder".
I did not see the vomiting incident. That happened to a blogging sister who I stalk. I bet you miss Wal-Mart in Ecuador, eh?

Sarah said...

can I just tell you how jealous I am of you that you have your little "sunflower market" to go to. I live in a Walmart only I go to the WM with the geriatrics.....Do I go to the WM where everything is in Spanish and they have a taco bar? Do I go to the white trash walmart (though technically they all qualify)

I usually go with the geriatrics. Wish I could be there to experience a Sunflower with you.

Jerrea said...

You didn't mention that walmart is a great place to shop when one is having a sweat pants day. Sweat pants is the dress code at walmart. I feel overdressed when I go in anything else.